To my wonderful,beautiful uterus, please be ready to house another baby this month and don't disappoint me like you did last month by sending af to me waaaay too early. Little Eggies please be ready to create life for us once again. All going well in 17 days we will know one way or another.
I'm not announcing my next pregnancy to the masses. I don't think I could handle being congratulated. What's to be congratulated on? The fact that my body can do a basic function? We all know I can fall pregnant as easily as I can breathe it's not something I need to be congratulated on. Congratulate me when my next child is born alive.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Night wandering
I'm like a ghost in my own house at night, the wonderful exhaustive sleep that saw me through the first few weeks after loosing Jack is well and truley gone.
I cant get to sleep, i try serveral times a night to get there but i cant. i go to bed, lie there with my brain going 100 miles an hour, thinking of lots of things, my beautiful boy, the day he was born, fantasising different outcomes, none of them leaving him at the hospital, another baby.
i get up, wander around, clean things, fold things, put things away, make a hot chocolate, have a smoke, try again. NOPE, up i get again and repeat the process.
eventually i get to sleep, then morning comes, the kids are hollering and i just dont want to get out of bed and could sleep all day. Why does this only hit me when its dark? i'm tired, beyond tired, i look like absolute shit because i'm so tired, but still i cant sleep.
Mum gave me some rescue remedy sleep stuff, will give that a go tonight
I cant get to sleep, i try serveral times a night to get there but i cant. i go to bed, lie there with my brain going 100 miles an hour, thinking of lots of things, my beautiful boy, the day he was born, fantasising different outcomes, none of them leaving him at the hospital, another baby.
i get up, wander around, clean things, fold things, put things away, make a hot chocolate, have a smoke, try again. NOPE, up i get again and repeat the process.
eventually i get to sleep, then morning comes, the kids are hollering and i just dont want to get out of bed and could sleep all day. Why does this only hit me when its dark? i'm tired, beyond tired, i look like absolute shit because i'm so tired, but still i cant sleep.
Mum gave me some rescue remedy sleep stuff, will give that a go tonight
Thursday, April 7, 2011
2 weeks between posts
its been a long 2 weeks.
Mr man and i have had so many lows with each other, i've been so depressed and moody.
But things have turned a corner. We're going to have another baby :)
I got AF again today, two weeks to the since i got my first one post baby. its annoying me to no end, i thought i was close to ovulating but not to be this month. Ah well, they say good things come to those who wait, so wait we shall! not that we have any choice.
We passed Jacks two month angelversary yesterday, was a tough day. Wednesdays are still tough without any triggers they're always hard to deal with
Mr man and i have had so many lows with each other, i've been so depressed and moody.
But things have turned a corner. We're going to have another baby :)
I got AF again today, two weeks to the since i got my first one post baby. its annoying me to no end, i thought i was close to ovulating but not to be this month. Ah well, they say good things come to those who wait, so wait we shall! not that we have any choice.
We passed Jacks two month angelversary yesterday, was a tough day. Wednesdays are still tough without any triggers they're always hard to deal with
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