making babies

We're in month 2 of the baby making game, how funny is it for me to say that this is the longest we've tried! pmsl, sad huh?
BFF says i can just look at Mr man and fall pregnant, sad but true.
Last month was bust, cycles are still a bit short, day 14 i thought i was getting my period, turns out it was ovulation pains! ah well, cant rush these things, just have to trust my body to do its thing, which given it stop supporting my baby and stopped making insulin, both very basic things, im really struggling to trust it.
I've been having second thoughts on having another baby, im not sure im ready yet.
I've just started riding again, prospect to buy a horse in sep/oct, i love rding, i feel free when its just me and a pony.
The girls are growing and growing izzy's becoming a little girl more and more everyday, not my little bubba anymore. Cha starts school next yr, i dont know if i want to be carting a newborn to and from school in those first few weeks. and to be honest im really just enjoying having the girls.
I dunno, maybe now that we're actually trying its scaring me that it could happen. Iworry about how my body will handle another pregnancy so soon, iz was 7 months old when i fell with Jack, not exactly back too back but very very close. after this baby is born, regardless of the outcome, thats it, no more, im so done with having babies.
Im travelling ok i guess, the further away we get from Jacks birthday the more it feels like a dream (read nightmare) and didnt actually happen.