let there be light

I went into his room today. i opened the door, walked in and opened the blind to brighten the room up a bit, had a quick look around and walked out.
it feels good.
i took his door hanger off his door. i'd painted it at around 28 weeks for him. i put it in his memory box with all his other special things

It's a funny thing when your baby dies (well maybe funny isnt the right word, but the right word escapes me right now) noone asks how big he was, how long, who's features did he get?i dont know if its because they dont want to know or if its because they're too scared to ask, sometimes i still tell people, other times i just dont. I love talking about how gorgeous my boy was, i wish people would ask more often.

But for the record, he was 3.72kgs, or 8pd 2, 54cms long, my big tall boy. he looked just like izzy when she was born, same angry face, i jokingly asked Mr man why we make such angry looking babies! he had the sweetest squishy little button nose, gorgeous chubby cheeks. Mr mans bottom lip and his weird pointy out big toes. and the longest most delicate fingers. and his hair, oh his hair! our girls have gorgeous red hair, and we were expecting Jack to have much the same, but he had a head full of dark ash blonde hair with only the slightest hint of red in it. he truley was gorgeous